Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
