I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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