She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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