Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize