I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
