Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
