I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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