I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
