don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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