I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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