I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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