Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize