What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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