i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
