just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
