when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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