How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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