Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
