What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
