you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
