Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
