you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
