I want to have your abortion
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
