Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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