I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
