Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
