He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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