using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
