I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
