So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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