he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
soo... how was my night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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