Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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