loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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