Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
