yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
