If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
