I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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