Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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