I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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