the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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