Kiss
Puke
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
