i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
