I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
