I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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