once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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