Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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