'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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