I looked at my own cervix.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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