so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
