he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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