i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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