Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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