I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
