it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
