Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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