fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You smell like stripper and shame
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
