people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
