why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
