i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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