whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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