can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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