I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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