She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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