I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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