So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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