You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
