I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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