hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
