Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
