i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
